. a maid.One day, when I was at the register, Sammy, the grocer, asked me out. Itold him no, the way I always told everyone no. And then self-realizationwashed over me. This is who I was. That wasn't going to change. I wasn'tgoing to go back. My boobs were real. My dick didn't seem to work muchanymore. I was just a lonely woman approaching her 30s.I looked at Sammy. "Tell me where we would go."Sammy smiled. He was a rugged man. Good arms. A good chest. Great teeth.Thinning hair. He said he would take me to Donatello's. He said it wouldbe nice. Maybe we would dance. Maybe we would go back to his place. Buthe promised he wouldn't move too fast. He wanted this to work, he said.And somone flipped the switch, and suddenly, a light came on. Finally, Icould see my life.An epiphany can happen in the darndest places. Church. A university. Agrocery store. I suddenly saw things the way they were. It suddenly allmade sense.All these years, I had been lying to myself, fooling myself,. I got comfortable and closed my eyes. They were sure taking a long time. Maybe that was good for me. I have to accept the fact that I am now the one who's the appendage, not Bad Kenny. He has somehow become ascendant over me. Strangely, now that I can see through his eyes and hear his thoughts, he doesn't seem as dark and sinister to me. Like me, he is searching for a way to achieve his goals. I dislike his goals, since they are selfish and greedy. In his universe, there is only him. I don't have any sense that he wants to do any harm. It is more a case of his not wanting to do any good. Given a choice, I would decide not to work with him. With him right here, in the midst of my beloved family, I no longer have the luxury of having a choice like that. I would do anything to keep them safe and unharmed. I'm not sure how long they were having their little conference, but I woke up as soon as they all started filing back into the bedroom. Joyce was still in the lead. None of them were.
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